Yet another season of examinations has set in with frenzied preparation and hectic activity for the students and parents alike. Examinations are not just for students but for parents too, it is a testing time because parents have a major role to play during examinations.
Most of the students, particularly those appearing for Board exams for the first time, feel the strain. And more so specially, for the Intermediate students, the pressure is on because they have to face a barrage of examinations and admission tests conducted by various Boards across the country, which are highly competitive and extremely stressful. Children cannot cope with examination stress unless parents pay their undivided attention and complete guidance to them. Parental participation is vital during examinations. Therefore, it is the duty of parents to render their total support and help their wards come out with flying colors.
The ever increasing syllabus and the cutthroat competition are making examinations more and more stressful by the day. Many children are unable to handle the mounting pressure and tend to wilt away. So, it is the prime duty of parents to be with their children during exams and play a proactive role. Child psychologists suggest that parents have to create a pleasant atmosphere at home to keep the children away from pre-exam phobia. If children get nervous, it leads to severe psychotic disorders such as headaches or nausea or indigestion and sometimes even result in serious problems like forgetfulness and blackouts.
I have come across some students who come to the exam hall saying that they have prepared, instead of that day’s exam, for some other exam, which is on the next day. Once they know that the exam they prepared for is on some other day, they faint in the exam hall. This happens many a time in several exam centers. This is not because the student does not know the timetable since a copy of the examination timetable is given to every student well in advance. It is only because of the tension that the student undergoes before the exam and also, it shows a lack of interest on the part of parents. Parents have to take interest in helping the children come out of exam fear. They have to help the children in organizing the syllabus and make them study in a systematic manner. This will surely reduce the trepidation and children can easily overcome the diffidence. If both the parents are working, they hardly have any time to spare. However, it is imperative that they take out some time from their busy schedules and be with their children. This will definitely enhance their confidence levels and they will fare well in the exams. If possible, parents have to sit with their children and clarify their doubts, or at least give them the feel that you are there for them because it acts as a huge moral support.
Number Magic
There are some parents, who are crazy about ranks and grades. They try to push an average performer to do miracles. This will not help the child at all, rather it will break his/her will power. Many parents have the habit of comparing the performance of their children with others. No two children are the same. They have individual differences. Every child is unique. So, never compare your children with their siblings and peers. Do not nag or criticize, especially in front of others. They feel humiliated and go into deep depression. This also leads to low self-esteem which, in turn, badly affects the performance in the exams. Instead, encourage them that they will do well this time and try to inspire and motivate them in a positive way. Positive strokes are very essential to raise the self-confidence of a child and this will result in realizing his/her inner potential. Don’t we all know that failures are stepping stones to success! Hence, try to instill confidence so that children strive to do their best. After all, ranks are not the only criteria to judge a student’s merit. Parents should not be carried away by the magic of numbers, which are highly publicized by corporate colleges.
Children’s ‘Space’
Respect the privacy of the child. Some parents indiscriminately step into children’s space. During adolescent stage, children need their ‘space’. Many parents do not know the value of giving ‘space’ to children. ‘Space’ here does not refer to mere physical space. It is all inclusive– physical, mental, psychological. Be gracious with grownup children. The parent should act as a friend, guide, philosopher, judge, referee and counselor. Be fair, objective and impartial. Do not favor one child and neglect the other one. Give equal importance to every kid at home.
Equal Opportunity for Girls
Girl child discrimination is predominant in Indian homes. This discrimination extends to all areas including food. Boys are fed with richly delicious dishes while girls are fed poorly. Boys have freedom to go out and come back home any time of the day. They are sent to tuitions and to friends’ houses to do combined study. On the other hand, girls are asked to stay at home and supervise the studies of their siblings or do household chores. Of course, parents may be apprehensive about the safety and security of their daughters. Nevertheless, girls should not be denied opportunities on this pretext. There are exceptionally brilliant girls in our country, who proved time and again that the sky is the limit. Had the parents of the US astronaut of Indian origin, Ms. Sunita Williams, restricted the progress of their daughter, the world would have lost a ‘Padma Bhushan’. We might lose many more such gems and outstanding achievers if we do not support and encourage girls. Though sons are at premium in many parts of India even today, a girl child should be given equal status. In many cases, girls are the toppers of Board exams. If we carefully observe the rank holders’ list of any Board exam/University exam, surprisingly, we find that most of the top ranks are bagged by the girls. Girls are not inferior to boys. We should not neglect the girl child. Parents have to realize this and accordingly promote a girl child and give equal opportunity and a chance to prove her worth.
Balanced Diet
The next important aspect is diet. It is important to eat a healthy diet all the time, nonetheless, this is crucial during exams. Parents have to closely watch the child’s diet because balanced diet plays a dominant role during exams. It is the prime duty of parents to take care of the child’s dietary habits, especially during examinations. They need a lot of strength and energy to cope with the challenges. February to May are hot summer months and children need extra vigor since they burn a lot of calories. So, give them nutritious food. Ask them to drink plenty of water. Beverages like tea and coffee spoil the health. Tell them not to drink too much of coffee or tea. Seasonal fruits such as watermelon are very good to keep the body cool and alert. Fruit juices act as fine supplement during summer. They also help in avoiding dehydration and sunstrokes, which are quite common in summer. Good eating habits help the child to focus on studies. Discourage the child from eating fried stuff and junk food because they are not good for health. Exam stress can make some children lose their appetite. So, give your child soft diet which is easily digestible. Stress shows a detrimental effect on the digestive system. Keep telling them to relax a bit. Exams are not the end. They are only a means to achieve a glorious end.
Major Distractions
Children do not want to have guests at home during exams because visitors and guests are a disturbance. Therefore, put off inviting guests and relatives home during exam season. It not only upsets the study schedule but also interrupts their normal routine. Moreover, many a time guests occupy children’s room. In such a case, children have no where to go. Children can study only in total silence in the privacy of their room. They cannot concentrate if there is lot of noise in the home. They feel suffocated and frustrated. So, it is better to avoid or postpone all family meetings and social functions in the exam season. When guests are around, some parents send out children on small errands. This is the time for them to do their lessons and parents should not ask them to do odd jobs because children will lose precious time.
Another major distraction is the TV. We observe in many homes that parents keep watching their daily soaps and serials and ask the children to shut themselves up in a room and study. How can a child study if so much of a loud sound is around? And if parents cannot control their temptation, what right do they have to ask small children to restrict and keep themselves away from the attraction of the TV? Therefore, try to sacrifice, at least temporarily, these small pleasures for the sake of the children’s future.
Three Bs
Tell your child about the significance of the Three Bs. He should
v Believe in himself
v Be interested
v Be in touch
Firstly, the child should believe in himself that
he can do it, he must do it and he will do it. Secondly, he should be interested in the subject. Thirdly, he should be in touch with all the topics. Revision plays a decisive role in deciding the grades of a child. Sit with your children while they are revising and help them to identify key points. Last minute preparation does not help and there are no shortcut methods either. So, let them plan ahead and revise thoroughly the entire syllabi well in advance. Revision is not a mechanical activity. It is logical and psychological. Mere mechanical reading will not make them remember facts, figures, principles, etc. They should be able to comprehend and assimilate the matter and reproduce it in the exam. So, encourage them to make notes and highlight the salient features and key points. They should go through each topic several times, paying close attention to pertinent points. Tell them not to rush through any portion of the text. At the end of each lesson, they should make a note of the central theme and main points. These hints will be useful for last minute revision. Prepare a nice revision timetable, which allows enough time to cover all the chapters. Ask your child to set realistic targets. Cramming too much material hampers learning.
Subjects of the same kind should not be read one after the other. For instance, subjects such as Physics and Chemistry should not be revised continuously. Children feel heavy in the head if they do this. There is also every chance of forgetting. Instead, intersperse them with light subjects such as English and Second Language like Hindi/ Sanskrit/Telugu.
This will give the required relief to the mind. The revision timetable should be framed this way–Physics, English, Chemistry, Second Language, so on and so forth. Give them a fifteen-minute break after every one hour of study so as to avoid monotony and boredom. Let them take a stroll in the balcony or in the open and do deep breathing. It will be very refreshing if they do this. Deep breathing helps in supplying fresh oxygen to the brain and enhances the rate of blood circulation, which is good to the brain as well as to the heart. This, in turn, improves memory power and retention capacity.
Commend the child when he puts up diligent
work. Small rewards and gifts can be a real incentive and inspiration to hard work. However, do not offer any thing as a bribe. Some parents have this habit of offering bribes to children. They say, ‘If you score good marks, I’ll buy you any thing that you ask for.’ This is not good.
Meticulous Organization
Grownup children should learn to organize things independently. Parents should teach them the value of neat and systematic planning and organization. Do not let them depend too much on you for everything. If two children in the same house are taking Board exam in the same year, extend a helping hand to make them feel comfortable. Let them keep ready their writing materials like pens, pencils, etc. the day before the exam and check if they are all in good condition. They should always carry an extra pen/pencil/refill to the exam hall. Tell them to avoid borrowing such things from other examinees since it is a great inconvenience to everybody. Ensure that they carry the Hall Ticket/Admit Card so as to avoid last minute rush.
I have seen several students (not just the school kids, but even the students of professional courses) either forgetting the Admit Cards or losing them on the very first day. This happens only because they are not well organized. In some exam centers, where the Chief Supervisors are strict, students are asked to go home and get the Admit Card or go back to their college and get a duplicate one. This leads to loss of precious time. The whole year’s preparation will go wasted because of such minor negligence. So, tell them to organize everything meticulously to avoid such embarrassing situations.
Rest and Sleep
Let the children get enough rest and sleep. This will help them overcome anxiety, fatigue and exhaustion. Allow them to take short breaks while revising the lessons. A mild exercise or meditation or a walk will help the children to improve concentration. It can also help them to sleep better. Wake them up early on the day of the exam so that they do not panic. The thought of arriving late for an exam, especially on the first day, makes things more traumatic, because, on the first day of the exam, they have to search for the room, seat etc. and also they need time to get adjusted to the new environment. If possible, take your children on the previous day to the new exam center so that they acquaint themselves with the atmosphere there and this helps them overcome the initial apprehension and inertia. Many children come back and tell that though they are thorough with the entire syllabus and revised their lessons all through the previous night, they became blank once the exam began. This happens only on the first day because the child is not used to the new atmosphere. So, parents have to take care of this aspect too.
Dear parents, be with your children, shower them with your love and affection. Assure them that you are there for them and help them to reap rich rewards in the ensuing examinations.