Stress is a part of our lives, long before we grow up. It is only that we don’t realise it. Unfortunately, our world is full of life situations and circumstances that cause stress. Stress in children, as in adults, is normal. Children now at a more early age face stressful situations. Stress has a huge impact on the child’s personality and maturity and very much defines their coping ability for latter part of their lives.

Stress has a huge impact on the child’s personality and maturity and very much defines their coping ability for latter part of their lives.

Sources of Stress

Pressures often come from outside sources (such as family, friends, or school), but they can also come from within. The pressure we place on ourselves can be most significant because there is often a discrepancy between what we think we ought to be doing and what we are actually doing in our lives.

Stress can affect anyone who feels overwhelmed — even kids. In pre-schoolers, separation from parents can cause anxiety. As kids get older, academic and social pressures (especially the quest to fit in) create stress.

Many kids are too busy to have time to play creatively or relax after school. Kids who complain about the number of activities they’re involved in or refuse to go to them may be signaling that they’re overscheduled.

Parents should watch how they discuss such issues when their kids are near because children will pick up on their parents’ anxieties and start to worry themselves.

Talk with your kids about how they feel about extra-curricular activities. If they complain, discuss the pros and cons of quitting one activity. If quitting isn’t an option, explore ways to help manage your child’s time and responsibilities so that they don’t create so much anxiety.

Kids’ stress may be intensified by more than just what’s happening in their own lives. Do your kids hear you talking about troubles at work, worrying about a relative’s illness, or fighting with your spouse about financial matters? Parents should watch how they discuss such issues when their kids are near because children will pick up on their parents’ anxieties and start to worry themselves.

World news can cause stress. Kids who see disturbing images on TV or hear talk of natural disasters, war, and terrorism may worry about their own safety and that of the people they love. Talk to your kids about what they see and hear, and monitor what they watch on TV so that you can help them understand what’s going on.

Kids who complain about the number of activities they’re involved in or refuse to go to them may be signaling that they’re overscheduled.

Also, be aware of complicating factors, such as an illness, death of a loved one, or a divorce. When these are added to the everyday pressures kids face, the stress is magnified. Even the most amicable divorce can be a difficult experience for kids because their basic security system — their family — is undergoing a tough change. Separated or divorced parents should never put kids in a position of having to choose sides or expose them to negative comments about the other spouse.

Signs and Symptoms
A child who is stressed may also have nightmares, difficulty leaving you, overreactions to minor problems, and drastic changes in academic performance.

While it’s not always easy to recognize when kids are stressed out, short-term behavioral changes — such as mood swings, acting out, changes in sleep patterns, or bedwetting — can be indications. Some kids experience physical effects, including stomachaches and headaches. Others have trouble concentrating or completing schoolwork. Still others become withdrawn or spend a lot of time alone.

Younger children may show signs of reacting to stress by picking up new habits like thumb sucking, hair twirling, or nose picking; older kids may begin to lie, bully, or defy authority. A child who is stressed may also have nightmares, difficulty leaving you, overreactions to minor problems, and drastic changes in academic performance.

Reducing Stress

How can you help kids cope with stress? Proper rest and good nutrition can boost coping skills, as can good parenting. Make time for your kids each day. Whether they need to talk or just be in the same room with you, make yourself available.
Even as kids get older, quality time is important. It’s really hard for some people to come home after work, get down on the floor, and play with their kids or just talk to them about their day — especially if they’ve had a stressful day themselves. But expressing interest in your kids’ days shows that they’re important to you.

Some level of stress is normal; let kids know that it’s OK to feel angry, scared, lonely, or anxious and that other people share those feelings.

Help your child cope with stress by talking about what may be causing it. Together, you can come up with a few solutions like cutting back on after-school activities, spending more time talking with parents or teachers, developing an exercise regimen, or keeping a journal.

You can also help by anticipating potentially stressful situations and preparing kids for them. For example, let a child know ahead of time (but not too far ahead of time) that a doctor’s appointment is coming up and talk about what will happen there. Keep in mind, though, that younger kids probably won’t need too much advance preparation. Too much information can cause more stress - reassurance is the key.

Remember that some level of stress is normal; let kids know that it’s OK to feel angry, scared, lonely, or anxious and that other people share those feelings.

Helping Your Child Cope

When kids can’t or won’t discuss these issues, try talking about your own concerns. This shows that you’re willing to tackle tough topics and are available to talk with when they’re ready. If a child shows symptoms that concern you and is unwilling to talk, consult a counsellor or other health specialist.

If a child shows symptoms that concern you and is unwilling to talk, consult a counsellor or other health specialist.

Books can help young kids identify with characters in stressful situations and learn how they cope.

Most parents have the skills to deal with their child’s stress. The time to seek professional attention is when any change in behaviour persists, when stress is causing serious anxiety, or when the behaviour is causing significant problems in functioning at school or at home.

If you need help finding resources for your child, consult your doctor or the counsellors and teachers at school.

The truth is, children should not be feeling any stress this early on. That is what childhood is for because people can get all the stress they want when they grow up. However, it happens. Children experience stress and it is up to the parents to do something about this child behaviour problem.

Here are some top tips to help children beat stress –

1 - Good Food
Deep breaths are a fantastic way of staying calm in, especially if they feel their mind going blank.

Make sure your child gets plenty of energy boosting foods. Eggs can help memory, concentration and emotional balance. Try and include some raw vegetables in every meal, so they get plenty of vitamins and minerals.

2 - Exercises

It is essential that your child gets out and has plenty of exercise during this time. Exercise stimulates the cerebellum part of the brain, which is responsible for learning and is also a fantastic stress buster! Encourage your child to run and play in the garden, or cycle/skateboard/take a walk in the park.

3 - Breathe Deeply
Ten minutes of daily exposure to the sun is enough to supply them with all the vitamin D they need.

Breathing deeply is a very effective way to stay calm. Encourage your child to take deep breaths right down into their stomach. Deep breaths are a fantastic way of staying calm in, especially if they feel their mind going blank. Try this simple breathing exercise: Take in a deep breath, put your lips together to make a small O and let out a soft slow and steady breath. See if you can blow out all the old air in your lungs. Now take in a deep breath, filling your lungs with new clean air. Repeat this exercise 2 or 3 times.

4 Sunlight

Make sure your child is getting enough sunlight. We are constantly being warned about the dangers of the sun, but it is important to remember that although over-exposure to strong sunlight is harmful, sunlight provides us with Vitamin D. Ten minutes of daily exposure to the sun is enough to supply them with all the vitamin D they need. It will also make them feel relaxed and cheerful as sunlight stimulates the pineal gland.

5 - Staying Positive

It is so easy for children to feel stressed and pressured and then only see the negative aspects of life. It is important to encourage them to be good to themselves and not ‘beat themselves up’. Making a list of five things that they have done that they are proud of and their top five qualities, will put them in a better frame of mind. As parents, it is important to keep praising good behaviour and achievements.

6 - Visualisation

Olympic athletes and professional musicians practice visualisation exercises where they imagine they are winning a race or playing perfectly. By mentally rehearsing what is about to happen prepares the body and mind for the stressful event. Ask your child to imagine they are sitting at their desk, feeling very calm and relaxed and answering all the questions easily.

By mentally rehearsing what is about to happen prepares the body and mind for the stressful event.

7 - Affirmations

Affirmations work in a similar way to visualisations, in that they help put your child in a positive state of mind. Get your child to try this exercise: Sit or stand up straight and smile, and say to themselves ten times, while breathing in and out slowly “I am relaxed, I am in control, I confident and I can do it.”

When a child is anxious and stressed, he/she is less able to concentrate and perform well. Encourage your child not to get too stressed. Explain calmly that, even though these tests are important, they should not worry about them. There is no need for them to panic as that does not help as, all as the tests are not the ‘be all and end all’ - and as long as the children do their best, they will be OK.

9 - Sleep

It is vital that your child gets enough sleep during this stressful time. Without sufficient sleep, children can feel tired, cranky, clumsy and moody. They will be less likely to think properly and so will find remembering things more difficult. Most children between 5-12 need between 9.5 to 11 hours sleep per night to function well. Teaching your child simple relaxation techniques will help them sleep peacefully and wake up fresh and happy. Some parents leave music playing to ensure children get a sound nights sleep.

10 - Relax

Teaching children how to relax is so important during this time. Here are two simple relaxation exercises to read to your child at night, or whenever they are feeling stressed:
Fun activities that a child can share with his or her friends can be real stress busters.

I‘Elastic Band.’ Close your eyes, be very still and imagine your body is a piece of elastic. Just relax to start with and enjoy being a floppy piece of elastic. Allow your legs to be floppy and relaxed, let your arms be floppy and relaxed, let your stomach be floppy and relaxed and finally, let your neck and head be floppy and relaxed. Now, very slowly imagine someone is very gently tugging your head and someone else is pulling your feet at the same time. And the elastic is becoming tighter. Your muscles are becoming more taut. Your whole body is getting longer and longer. Enjoy this wonderful stretching feeling as you are growing longer. Then ... ping....let all the muscles in your body relax as the elastic band is released. Relax back to being a floppy bendy piece of elastic again. Enjoy this wonderful feeling of being totally relaxed and floppy.

II ‘Big Balloon.’ Close your eyes, be very still and imagine that you are holding a big balloon. It is very light. It feels very smooth. The balloon is in your favorite colour. Now, hold the bottom of your balloon, and feel the balloon gently rising into the sky. Each time you breathe in and out, you gently glide further and further into the warm summer sky. The deeper your breath is, the further you can travel. Enjoy this feeling of weightlessness. Enjoy the feeling of being completely free. Your body feels weightless and free and your mind feels totally free.

Children who are not open with their parents have difficulty in dealing with stress.
How Can Parents Help?

Communication!
Communication is the key in any relationship. Children who are not open with their parents have difficulty in dealing with stress. On the other hand, if children are open to their parents, feel better, do better and are much happier kids.

Lonesome and child?
This combination does not work at all! Encourage your children to make friends. Children with friends face lesser stress related concerns. Fun activities that a child can share with his or her friends can be real stress busters.
 
Observe!
Always keep your eyes and ears open. Parents should observe their children carefully and look for clues that may be due to stress. As parents, you can recognise what can cause stress in your children and avoid the cause or formulate a plan of action to deal with it. This will enable to help the child in a difficult time.

Encouragement!
Parents can form an encouraging environment for their children. Appreciate what they do and help in the growth of their self-esteem. Use humour to help them let go of a negative feeling of situation and see it as an opportunity.

Arm them!

Not literally though! Parents can help their children learn some relaxation techniques. Also parents can help them prepare for some stressful situations like first day in school

As parents, you can recognise what can cause stress in your children and avoid the cause or formulate a plan of action to deal with it.

Tell them it’s OK!

Parents should help their children that it’s ok to feel angry, upset, sad, lonely etc. and also tell them ways how to express their feeling in a more constructive way. Tell them they are not alone and you yourself as parents have gone through these feeling at one point or another. This will help them understand and open up to you!

Parents are usually well equipped to help carry their children through a stressful situation.

Time for help!

If the symptoms of stress don’t subside with time, then its time to seek a counsellors help. If over a period of time stress is affecting your child’s performance at school and at home then a professional help is needed. Parents are usually well-equipped to help carry their children through a stressful situation. If you work with them, they will already know what to do in future also!