Social advancement has to be matched with the development of efficient techniques of communication to sustain the tempo of growth.  In modern professional organizations a great deal of importance is therefore attached to devising and maintaining an efficient system of communication.

In India though other languages are also used for the purpose, out of the total time spent on communication, 64.14% is on communicating in English as against 27.22% in Hindi and 8.64% in regional languages.

Ability to talk is a social grace and a step towards advancement.  Those who cannot talk withdraw from public appearance and social contacts.  The person who always talks without hearing to others will not be able to communicate successfully.  It is not for nothing that God gave us two ears but one mouth!

Silence speaks, perhaps better than eloquence.  It is not sound.  All human communication that is neither spoken nor written is called non-verbal.  Non-verbal behavior is generally expressed either consciously or unconsciously through signs, actions or symbols. All these non-verbal clues taken together are also known as body language.

Sigmund Freud’s observation may appear to be an exaggeration, but it is the exaggeration of a vital truth. ‘He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep, a secret.  If his lips are silent he chats with his fingertips, betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.  It is beloved that a charming person has a pleasant voice; a dynamic person has a vibrant voice and a confident person an assured voice.
According to Birdwhitshell 35% of the message is carried verbally, while 65% is conveyed non-verbally.  Mehrabian has analyzed the impact of the message as follows, 7% verbal, 38% vocal and 55% non-verbal.  Though the studies in this area are in their infancy, training in the proper use of the visible code is essential to acquire the skill of effective communication.  In fact, efficiency in its use can to some extent make up for the deficiency in verbal communication. 
We all can recall situations in which the speaker’s command over the language was deficient yet he was able to drive home the message because of proper use of his body language.
According to the psychologist human beings are divided into three categories:

1. Endomorphs: Those who are plump, round are expressed to be cheerful, tolerant, generous, kind and relaxed. They are complacent, easy going and optimistic. These contended and confident people are easy to deal with.  They seldom get irritated.  If we don’t rub them on the wrong side, it is not difficult to convince them.

2.  Ectomorphs:  Tall and lean, tend to be serious, pensive, introvert, cold and suspicious.  They are contemplative, introspectic and mentally obsessed with something or other.  One should be careful and patient in dealing with them.

3.  Mesomorphs:   Those who are athletic looking and muscularly well developed are expected to be active, confident and enterprising. They exhibit confidence, a sense of security and self-sufficiency.  They are expected to have a liberal and cooperative attitude towards fellow human beings.

Even before the speaker utters the first syllable we begin to form an opinion about him.  One’s appearance may put the audience into a resistant or even a hostile attitude or induce in them a receptive mood, which is essential for the success of the communication. It is partly because of this, that uniforms have been prescribed. Trendy or up to date fashions show overspending vanity or tailor made ladies and gentlemen.  Simple or casual dress with an eye on comfort shows economy, individuality, prudence and common sense.

Non-fashion or Anti fashion shows conservative eccentricity and courage to swim against the current.  It can also be rusticity or boorishness in a few cases.
Accessories show wearer’s self image, taste and interests.

The movement of the body, the position of hands and legs and other parts of the body reveal an individual’s personality whether he is vibrant, alive and dynamic, nervous and jittery, confidant and self-assured etc.
A good speaker stands tall, feet together with the weight directly over the instep keeping his chin on line parallel to the floor.
Standing in this posture before a group is in fact one of the first essentials for success in speaking.  A drooping shoulder and a protruding stomach indicate the speaker is discouraged, tired and worn out.

To some extent a speaker can gauge the measure of success of his communication by observing the posture of the listener.  The communication situation and the specific purpose, which one has to achieve, determine the way one sits. For example: a subordinate while selling an idea to his boss or explaining an important point would not recline in his chair. In a group discussion the person who takes a turn to speak changes his posture, when he starts communicating. 

While different situations demand different sitting postures, one should keep one’s back straight from the waist up; both the feet should be on the floor, one slightly in front of the other.  The abdominal muscles should be pulled in, the chest should come out in line.

The ability to walk across the stage with ease and grace contributes a great deal to the first impression that the speaker is confident, energetic withdrawn or nervous.  To walk gracefully, move the legs freely from the hip, lift your feet from the floor, do not drag or shuffle them, walk in a straight line, avoid taking tiny steps. While speaking, naturally there should be shifts in the posture. One must learn how to place one’s hands and how to shift the weight of the body on the legs while speaking. These have to be cultivated.

Distance and space are important mainly in relation to degree of relationship, intimacy, and dominance or bossism.  The way people use distance and space, for communication is called ‘Proxemics’.
The distance we keep from others shows our sense of territoriality.  Generally, two persons do not intrude on each other’s space.  They keep themselves at a reasonable distance from each other. ‘The normal degree of proximity varies from culture to culture and people to people’.

However, research is made in this field and certain conclusions are tentatively drawn.  Particulars of personal space:
1. Intimate space zone - 20 to 22 inches.
2. Personal space zone - 2 to 4 ft.
3. Social space zone - 10 ft to 3 ft and above.
4. Public space zone - 10 ft to 30 ft & above.

1). Thus, one can guess the degree of relationship between two persons by  watching the distance.
2). Intelligent persons observe these norms of distance and avoid taking uncalled liberties with each other.  Mainly, subordinates get into trouble by standing very close to their superiors and not observing respectful distance. 
There are cases of parents who got estranged from their children by observing distance.  An affectionate touch, pat on the back, holding the hand etc are endearments.  They attract love without the necessity of using words.
The study of the body movement is called ‘Kinesics’. It includes posture, gesture, facial expression and eye behavior.

Researchers said that hundreds of thousands of different gesture are possible with hands. Some are intended to communicate a definite message, others are involuntary social cues which, may or may not be correctly interpreted by others.  Playing with a ring, twisting a key chain, clasping one’s hand tightly, robs a speaker of the effectiveness of his communication.  Drumming the table with finger, fist clenching, scratching, shrugging of shoulders, forehead wiping. Eye glass wiping, putting hands in the trousers pockets and walking to and fro, indicate a diversity of feelings, nervousness, restlessness, psychological pressures or uncertain mind etc.

Facial expressions: Face is the most expressive part of the body.  A wooden expression on the face may prejudice the listeners whereas brightness in the eyes may keep their interest sustained and also evoke an enthusiastic response.  Gazing is embarrassing. But, eye-to-eye looks and mutual glances form an important part of communication.  Biting the lips, raising the eyebrow at regular intervals or blinking eyes too often can certainly mar the smooth flow of communication.

Limitations: Often Non-verbal behavior is a supplement to but not a substitute for verbal communication. Every lute has its rift. Non-verbal communication has its limitations.
It is not dependable on all occasions because of its supportive and reinforcing relationship with verbal language. It is not often a substitute for verbal language. In interpretation mistakes are possible. It differs from culture to culture, sub culture to sub culture and region to region within a country.

Finally the conversation should be of interest to both the participants.  As it flows into new channels adjust to the comments and new points of views. Occasionally there could be spells of silence generating new thoughts.

- Be alert to the attitudes that others may have and don’t be surprised when you realize that the attitudes are likely to change.
- Occasionally, call the person by name and look at him while speaking to generate a more friendly feeling.

- Be courteous and cheerful.  Feel interested in what is being said.

- Being dogmatic and argumentative may spoil your conversation, but it is useful to have a point of view.

- Avoid pet and superfluous words and phrases.  An analysis of your own speech may reveal that you have fad for certain words or phrases.  Avoid using them frequently in conversation. Similarly, expressions that smack of   affectation and exaggeration should be shunned.  The smooth flow of conversation is likely to be hampered if you deliberately use foreign words or use high-flown vocabulary.  An over use of words such as lovely, wonderful, excellent may also mar the pleasant informal atmosphere in which conversation ought to take place.

It is useful to analyze your own conversation, habits, and body language and then try to change them for greater effectiveness.

BARRIERS : One can speak well and write well and become an effective communicator, if one identifies and recognizes the roadblocks or barrier to communication and makes conscious efforts to overcome them to ensure a free and frictionless flow of communication.
These barriers come from within an individual from out of the inner workings of his mind and conflict feelings.
Egoism, Complacency, Overconfidence, Dogmatism and the feeling of Omniscience that one knows everything.

Such a person is difficult to deal with, because he will not listen to others and will not be in a mood to interpret the message correctly.  He rejects new ideas and fresh thinking.  He uses over confident words like ‘always, sure, everything never etc.  Often says ‘I know all that’, ‘you need not tell me about it’; ‘I don’t like it’. ‘I’ is an expression of egoism and authoritarian approach.  The New York   telephone Exchange conducted a research survey to find out how many times ‘I’ occurs in telephone conversations.  They found that out of 500 conversations the word occurred about 40,000 times.
We need to get rid of it.

MAKE UP TIPS:
We need to stop lording over people, and start listening to them. Stop role-playing for advancement, and start risking for other’s benefit.
Stop seeking your own way, and start serving others. It is true that those who would be great must be like the least and the servant of all.If you are not caring towards other as you could be, you need to get the focus off yourself.
Make a list of little things you could do to add value to friends and colleagues. Then try to do one of them everyday.  Don’t wait until you feel like it to help others. Act your way into feeling.

Lastly, to avoid problems, save yourself from self inflicted wounds.

Think of a valued long-term relationship that has faded.  Get in touch with the person and try to reconnect.  If you had a falling out, take responsibility for your part in it, and apologize. Try to better understand, love and serve that person.

In a short story titled ‘the capital of the world’, Nobel Prize winning Author Earnest Hemingway tells about a father and teenage son, Paco, whose relationship breaks down.  The son runs away from home and the father begins a long journey in search of him.  Finally as a last resort, the man puts an advertisement  in the local newspaper in Madrid. ‘It reads, “Dear Paco, meet me in front of the newspaper office tomorrow at noon . . . . all is forgiven.. . .  I love you’.  The next morning in front of the newspaper office were eight hundred men named Paco, desiring to restore a broken relationship.

Never underestimate the power of relationships on people’s lives.